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Thursday, September 13, 2007
page and it saved me the trouble of writing this piece myself.
here is the entertaining and harshly truthful blog entry
"Burlesque is shit"
I wish to rant for a moment if I may... The thing that has rubbed my dick up the wrong way recently is the ancient art of "burlesque".
Now, there was a time when burlesque wasn't quite so offensive to me as it has now become; it was essentially a victorian forgotten cabaret type affair which ulitmately involved some good old fashionned prostitution. However, of late, there seems to be a trend towards any girl who has a tattoo or a piercing donning a corset and parading round on stage in their underwear with no real grasp of what a total tit they are making of themselves... And it needs to ucking stop!
Just like the endless stream of girls who readily got their chuffs out on Suicide Girls (or inferior versions if they were REALLY minging), the justification is that they are somehow "empowering" themselves... They are not. They are just getting their tits out! Now, don't get me wrong, I really couldn't give a shit about the plight of women's equality or whether or not some girl wasnts to show off her baps in public. In fact, I quite encourage it. But don't fucking pass it off as some kind of "power struggle" for feminism.
See, the problem is not so much burlesque itself; more so volume of it currently. And the solution is simple: Quality contol... Let's face it, there are some fucking minging birds doing this, with all the grace of a mahogany cabinet and the looks of a donkey's arse. Recently, my band played in Leeds and there was some kind of burlesque "troup" (yes, that's what they call themselves!) and the standard of the girls taking part was literally abismal. Not only this, but the minutes dragged on like hours as one after one they paraded around in ridiculous costumes whist showcasing obvious and unoriginal routines, all with a Christmas theme. Oh, the genius! People were slitting their wrists, drinking themselves into a coma to escape from this godawful spectacle.
And they all have ridiculous names: Miss Pitty Patty Twatty; Miss Kitty Von Anus; Miss Lee Dong Gook, Dabo, Kezman... Why? I realise I am probably in the minority of people who dislike this whole affair, but think about it: Currently every single girl in Liverpool is a burlesque dancer; if this trend continues, we won't be able to move for them. The projected figures for the next 12 months estimate that there could be anything up to 3billion burlesque dancers in the UK. We can't let this happen - What will become of the other "saucy" arts, such as "normal" pornography, prostitution, bukake drives? We must not let these arts die out.
I like strippers. I like strip clubs. There is a dark, hollow seediness to the whole ritual of going to a strip club while a girl who is completely devoid of emotion rubs her minge on your lap, while your mates cajole you like rabid monkeys. But stripping knows its place... It doesn't try to pass itself off as "art", yet burlesque and posing naked on the internet are no different from stripping, making porn films, prostitution... In fact, they are worse because they don't even show you their baps - Although judging by the (lack of) standard of the majority of girls who take part in this passtime, you'd probably have nightmares!
And so concludes my rant about burlesque. I realise its just a phase and the majority of these girls will look back when they grow up with some embarrassment at this period of their youth. Either way, i'll be avoiding such events as best I can in the future. Give me some filthy porn featuring girls who are dead inside any day of the week! Hurrah!
sketched by dweller at 12:31 am
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