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Saturday, January 28, 2006

Venturer 40GB bargain iPod killer

I didn't want to pay for an overpriced iPod,
but I needed a high storage capacity mp3 player.
Trust Argos to come to the rescue.
It may be as ugly as sin, but this baby set me back
£89 for 40GB of memory.
Plug it into USB and you see a removable harddisk,
drag and drop files as you will.
Okay so it doesn't have a good playlist facility and
its functionality is basic. Sometimes it skips past certain tracks and there is the odd bug or two.
But it didn't cost much,
it fits in my pocket, just about, and I don't have to look
like an iPod sheep on the bus.
So there we go.
Take my advice, if you are not fussy, go and get one.
They're great.

Venturer 40GB mp3 player.
Available from Argos. £89.00

sketched by dweller at 1:47 pm

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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Big Up Ye Turnips

Yah Yah Yah
Woo Ha
Woo Ha
Yah Yah yAH

Sniff me and pass out.

Stiff Stiff Stiff in the wind
I'm Stiff Stiff in the wind
I'm Raw , I'm Raw, can you feel my Raw?

Well actually, Mr Digby, I'm not quite sure what you're getting at.
Would you like another French Fancy?

Ah tash and darn and crimple it MaryBethJoAnn Juniper benchpress
turtle polish wood enamel fridge.
I wanna BEIGE you up.
Father Brown I'm in love with your toga,
yeah the one that you wear in the windmill.
Course she always said that I'd be the lucky one.
The old luck always shone on me.,
Like blessings from a duck
golden nuggets of luck plopping in my
garden pond, growing a tail, legs and arms
whoops there it goes just jumped off that lily leaf.
Catch the pidgeon Giles, there may be a message strapped to
its leg.
Now where was eye, thats right , pancake mixture,
just get some old popeye paste, you know kneed in some of
the old Olive Oyle, ooooo errrrr ooooooo eerrrrrrr
thats yr basic pancake batter sorted ,
then to add the mixture, scratch those bits of flakes
out of yr eyelashes, these are made out of mindreading
eyelash mite droppings. Completely harmless, but full of
protein and quite tasty when fried.
so the pasty paste is mixed up and oh sod it
I made it all up. I dunno how to make pancakes.
Give me a turnip and I'll carve a shit face into it.
That's as much as I can do.
What you have Pumpkins at Halloween?
We use turnips mate, yeah , you fuckin ponce,
little turnips are what you need.
Much spookier and all.

sketched by dweller at 8:46 pm

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the continental cafe

the continental cafe
Get a coffee, a soft drink, some food.
Cigarettes out
Quiet boys mope on a table of their own
Why are you reading a newspaper?
It's too early to absorb boring news.
Some Soft Metal fan had stuck several pounds in the jukebox.
LIVING MARXISM Why IS politics so boring?
I'm tired I need another coffee
Go on mate roll yourself a fag
It looks really good
The Food Factory in red neon
What a crap roll up
May he forever swallow tobbacco
I wish I was that bloke next to me
Asleep in his folded arms.
Why is he sleeping?
Did he have a late night?
Or does that Daily Express laid out neatly before him hold the
answer?
KLF now playing
Long haired guy with leather jacket is doing the nervous knee tap.
These Scots don't tan very well,
They've had 4 consecutive days of sun.
I have to leave soon.
The clouds of smoke are irritating my nose.
I also need to take the most enourmous shit.

early 90s Queen Margaret Student Union, Glasgow.

sketched by dweller at 5:40 pm

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Thursday, January 05, 2006

a message from Johnny Anger

"'...after I came back from the show I rolled a huge doob,went into the bathroom and smoked it while I dropped major man-turds into the shitbowl.Wow! The sensation of being high while I eliminated wastes from my fucking body was the shit(pardon the pun!).I looked at my 3 thick messy shitrolls in the toilet and thought 'wow that came out of me,its part of me.I know its shit,but if it came out of me then how could it be bad?' I understood how a woman must feel after shes given birth.Would you flush your child down the toilet? No. And I vowed to never flush my waste down the toilet again! So I filled up my bathtub with my 'children',I would play with them,talk with them and just be there for them.Soon, I realized that our relationship wasn't that of father and child, it was beyond all conventional relationships...I was in love with my own feces.Often when one is in love,one does not feel complete without consummating the relationship...I took my shit and shaped and molded it into a crude lower half of a female.A few cuts and slashes with a knife and soon I had carved a pussy(vagina) into my 'shitwoman' and we had our honeymoon...please remember that you have no right to judge me.You have the right to kill me but not to judge me."

sketched by dweller at 11:38 am

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