Beefburger pancakes Childminder cornflakes Middle income veins Tremble in the Cotswolds Mother lost in coupons Doggy doo in drains Honey sings me long time Balanced on an incline Give the kids a break It’s all manure Ever since the days of William He could be the one who sent you here And when your name is on the list You will make it to the round table Now it’s done
In the bleak sweet tundra, heavy bills turn white In the phoenix masked mouth every jail sleeps tight May the west wind keep out all the quivered bows And the proven windmills cash before him blows.
If I was here to rid the turn, If the cascading statue pieces dropped into the black of never, If battleships and scrabble connected and overcame the need for chess, If french fries and cheesy wotsits were outlaws of the wild west, If I could giggle like Hindley and be forgiven by the solar system, If makeup bags were filled with coloured marbles containing fluorescent galaxies, If the wurlitzer was played before every showing of The Social Network, If King Kong and Hilda Ogden held hands and kissed, If the smart money was on sticky backed plastic, If the four partial eclipses of 2011 were escape chutes for four dimensional refugees, Then you would wringle and play the quadro casio keyboard shuffle, Then gas pipes would emerge like periscopes from milky hot tubs,
"Pay way over half my take home pay for a shitty flat...? I really am trying mate, but I cannot understand how you Southerners think that a sum like this for a flat is in anyway acceptable. Anything over 300 quid a month is a rip-off for any flat - buying or renting.
For 1200 a month, I'd expect to be living like a rock-star, and the fact that anyone can even consider living in the type of ex-council sh1t-hole you'd get for that sort of money in London as reasonable goes a long way towards explaining how f**ked-up the UK housing market is.
You Southern nut-cases only prolong the agony by playing this game of death by housing costs, and your glib acceptance of such stupidity will ensure that your children continue to suffer for a long time after you've gone.
The "ladder" is a rigged game my friend, and the sight of you poor ignorant b*stards keeping it going despite the harm it will bring to you and your family is among the saddest things that I've observed in my 47 years.
The grimness you once perceived as being exclusive to 'oop North' is now right on your own doorstep me old china, and you're paying way over the odds for it..
Wise up Delboy..."
He's a prolific blogger is Michael.
A twelve year old girl came in to the library a few weeks back. She was typing up a Christmas poem she had written. She had been asked to read it aloud at a school assembly. She was as proud as can be and offered to read it to me.
What I loved about it was her creative use of language to express very personal observations.
At one point she mentioned the festive season as something to boost people's drear (this isn't correct but I can't recall the words exactly) The teacher had corrected it and put in cheer for drear (again this isn't exact - I just can't recall her exact phrasing)
She explained that she meant to use drear because people around her felt and acted pretty miserable in the build up to Christmas. I have noticed this especially this year in the neighbourhood of our library. People are down on their luck, the kids have been acting up more than usual. The aftermath of the riots, the constant talk of cuts, recession, job losses. Kids feel what the adults are feeling.
I thought it was a shame that her original wording wasn't have been kept in.
But never mind that, it was a really stimulating interaction with a child who was buzzing with the creative process.
This is so good I had to share it on my blog. I won't add any comments as I'm recovering from a wisdom tooth extraction and a long day at work has left me needing to get horizontal pronto.
Best of Devon, a hidden gem. Locals know the secret. If you're in the Tavistock, Plymouth o Dartmoor area and looking for somewhere refreshing with great food and atmosphere away from the ubiquitous cream teas, check out Robertson's in Tavistock.
Local, organic ingredients simply prepared; "Huge local following and some of the best pizzas in Devon." —Observer Food Magazine Awards, 2008; Read about Robertson's Organic Café in the ...
Fantastic selection of fine affordable wines from an enthusiastic knowledgeable lover of wine. Grab yourself a box and/or buy one as a gift for that wine loving friend or relation. Personal recommendation. Nick knows his wines!
Welcome to Grapebox Grapebox is a new, independent wine merchant based in Reigate. The online shop is now open for business, look out for fresh and exciting wines arriving each week. Make sure to stay...
As the days get colder and darker, Happy Feet Happy Heart probably won’t be out and about as often as we were in the summer. However, if you’d like to see us, you can book us for a Pamper Party: we offer you a little bit of foot flirtation and a delicious face, neck and head massage.
THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR CHILDHOOD. "The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipula...
Welcome to the ecocentrus projectBy sharing our garden data with each other we can monitor and take action together to nurture biodiversity. The best way to begin is to sign up for a free account here and then register your garden. You can upload photos of your garden and the species you sight and others can engage in discussion with you, reporting sightings in other gardens is a new feature of the ecocentrus project.
Why Weave Willow?* Achievable - objects woven in willow can be made very easily and quickly, bringing a sense of satisfaction. * Engaging - the act of weaving can be very relaxing while demanding full attention * Creative - weaving willow can inspire the imagination since it lends itself to be used in many different ways...
Why Weave Willow? * Achievable - objects woven in willow can be made very easily and quickly, bringing a sense of satisfaction. * Engaging - the act of weaving can be very relaxing while...
Free Will Astrology was the name of the website with the quirky hippy star signs written, in the style of Tom Robbins, by a certain Rob Brezny. Back in 1999 I answered his online questionaire. So to continue the function of the meme blog, you can find out about ME by reading this. Sorry it's a bit long.
What did you dream last night?
Last night I dreamt that I was flipping through a NME which is a music paper published here in the UK. I came to an article about Terrence Mckenna. What was interesting is that the page would glow slowly to a nice fluorescent blue and then dim down into black. I thought this new technology for newspaper was pretty cool. So I turned the page over to see if I could work out how it functioned. There was a little red light or mini-diode that was embedded in the paper which shone through to the Mckenna article.
What about this dream?
I havent read the NME regularly for years. Also years ago in one of my sketch books I drew a picture with the caption "Burn your NME's and dont take magic mushrooms" Then this morning I check out the Real Astrology web page, read an interview with Rob where he says that he doesnt do drugs anymore and namechecks Mckenna. Nice bit of syncro.
What image or symbol represents the absolute of your desires?
I guess its got to be the Shree Yantra symbol or some variation of it. For those that dont know, it is used in Bhuddhist and probably some other religions and comprises of a lot of triangles coming down the way and heaps of triangles going up the way. These two gaggles of differently sized triangles meet each other and overlap creating a wonderful and endless radiance of energy.
If you think about this symbol and the idea of triangle above and below initially seperate and slowly moving together, you will find that you begin to see it used to create proportion and harmony in many iconic works of art; Its also present everyday as our perception of perspective when looking at a wide open landscape. The sky above being the down pointing triangle and the land below being the up pointing triangle. And if we percieve that then...? DESIRES
Describe the ways in which your life is affected by invisible forces you don't understand or are barely aware of.
Let me first not answer this and expound my spontaneous theory.
The earth gives off invisible forces which can be very good for us if we could feel them. However human beings also give off invisible forces that although we are not always directly aware of, have a much more profound effect on us because we have been brought up and socialised amongst other humans.
I get my earth forces in remote beautiful places, like mountainous regions (Scotland, Nepal) or windswept ancient landscapes such as the Orkney Islands. I can even pick up on it in a city park or garden. However this is usually easier AFTER I have been to a remote natural place. I think these earth forces charge you up _or_ rid you of the surface techniques you use to get by in an urban lifestyle, thereby exposing your own subtle energies.
Once you have stripped away the verbal trick bullshit that disguise us and protect us we can feel free. We can then pick up on others invisible forces and respond to them in a much truer way. Plus they will pick up on you too. Yippee.
But watch out because the city can eat you up and spit you out and you'll have to go thru the whole damn process again.
Tell a good lie.
I am extremely good at letting women know that I would like to get more intimate with them.
Are you a good listener? If so, describe how you listen. If not, explain why not.
I am not the worlds greatest listener. When someone has something to say to me whether its a personal problem or some interesting idea, I will listen with great attention and absorb what they have said. The problem comes with my response. I tend to immediately come out with an answer or a response, rather than encourage them to go on or expound a little further. Also my answers can also be a little flippant or clever as if I am enjoying my own intelligence. The only time I encourage them to talk on is if I dont have an answer. Its not a major problem but unless I am aware of myself it can happen.
What's the difference between right and wrong?
They are both words, and language is a symbolic format used by humans to communicate. However it can never tell the truth and will therefore always manipulate anyone who recieves it as truth. Some people believe that a wordless esoteric form of communication if known and utilised by us all would help us bridge this language divide and lead to a peace. But for now a friction still exists and maybe creativity is akin to barbarity. Let us pray in silence.
Name something you've done to undo, subvert or neutralize the Battle of the Sexes.
Wow this question has stumped me.
Have you ever witnessed a child being born? If so, describe how it changed your life.
I have never witnessed a child being born but I have witnessed a man dying. I was visiting a friend called Thip in a town called Mae Sot in Thailand. Thips father had bad circulation and one night we bundled him into the back of a pickup. At the local hospital we all massaged his arms and legs to try to circulate his blood. He looked at me with some alarm as I was this strange white boy there with his two sons. Anyhow after that shocking gaze he suffered a coronary and went all rigid very suddenly with teeth clecnched and lips pulled taut. They didnt have any electric pads, so the nurses shoved this tube down his throat in order to push air in, and started pumping his chest. But to no avail. Thips father had died. I was 18 years old at the time and it definitely had a very good effect on me. I have never felt horror at this kind of natural death. I still cringe at television hospital scenes that are designed to make you feel tense; but when I worked in the cancer department of a large London Hospital, I felt at ease with the patients . I never communicated with them with any sense of tragic sympathy. In fact that job was a bloody good experience that I would reccommend to anyone.
As for children. I would love to witness a childbirth.
Where did Cain's and Abel's wives come from? How did people make appointments before there were clocks? How many angels can dance on the head of a firing pin? Explain the following fact: The universe has a condition resembling dyslexia.
The universe is okay. Its doing fine.
Write a beautiful blasphemy that makes you feel like crying.
Oh why was I such a fool. She invited me into her bed for heavens sake.
Why did I take heed of the New Sensitive Man bullshit and not take charge as in retrospect I feel she wanted me to. I used this idea of Right Behaviour as a shield, as an excuse for not having to expose my true desires and let go of myself in real abandonment.
We went a certain distance and it sure felt true and good. Then instead of handing herself to me on a plate she wanted to know if I really WANTED her. All I had to was take hold of the energies we had built up and begin the manifestation. But no, instead we slept a sweet dreaming night together as friends not lovers.
What do you do to make people like you or love you?
I will talk to you, make you feel at ease, like we are sharing something new. I'll make a little fun of you put some weird spin on something to just break the mundane ice that can overwhelm cautious strangers. That kind of thing. I also try to keep that sense of freshness with my friends, so that we dont get bored with each other or drift into some gloomy familiarity. The problem is that when I really realise that , 'cor blimey, I could be in with a bit of loving lusting good times here', I tend to lose the lively smiliness and get too quiet and selfconcious. Do you know what I mean?
Describe the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive.
ACID, Air Travel, Mushrooms. You know I went pot holing and it was full on, squeezed in those rocky tubes. Pretty shit stirring and adrenalin pumping. I've been up in the mountains and sailing over the ocean.
However the ultimate perception of living had to have been particular experiences I've had using psychedelic substances. I wont go into the extreme details as there are plenty of netzones for triptales. However when you are in a room seeing no longer thru your eyes but as a disembodied VIEWER seeing a new kind of surround 3Dimensional view that should be impossible, and you realise that everyone around you is a deity even if they havent realised it yet, and then a supercharged volcanic explosion reverie pours into you or out from you pinning you to your chair in cathartic orgasmic delight, then you feel pretty dangerously alive. But hey, I dont do that stuff much.
Talk about three of your most interesting personalities. Give each one a name, astrological sign, rank, and numerologically powerful serial number.
i) Matt Van Horn, Aquarius, 23.
He will dance, he is weightless, he can talk amazingly funny and fast connections between the universal symbols, he is daring, easy to flatter, maybe too open for some.
ii)Easy Matt, Gemini, 7.
He is the chameleon that you will find has so much in common with you. He can talk to you at any 'Level' and about any subject. He will be calm have a gentle laugh, a comforter, a supporter. But is he a fraud?
iii)Child Matt, Capricorn, 9.
Tucked away he couldnt survive in the real world. He had to go at about age 16. The one who was bullied and tried to understand why. He is capable of clinging on to someone too much. And sometimes much to that persons irritation. However he is true, and he helps to illumine some of the spoutings of easymatt and mattvanhorn with the crystal clarity of one who has passed to the other side.
Do you wish to take advantage of the introductory half-price offer at this time?
I have no credit card. Not because I'm worried about buying too much, but because I hardly buy anything anyhow. I have got used to living on a low income, and I enjoy seeing through the endless marketing scams. These days its getting easier because almost nothing is aimed at someone like me. I'm not even into second hand shit. I had a period of being addicted to buying records, but now its simply basic food'n'booze. I like nice things but because I dont waste my time falling for the "be a connoiseur" scam, I can take it or leave it. I dont like to get too attached to possessions because they can seriously weigh you down. You may have heard that one before, but listen to it because it is TRUE.
What's stronger than love, wetter than water, and truer than the facts? What's more exotic than trust but a lot like it?
Oh mom, I'm stuck in the mud. (Dont worry my child, you can be free if you just put your mind to IT).
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