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Thursday, March 20, 2008

shards - d jaxes eno

following on from two posts back and the
magic mountain soundtrack here is
mister world peace 2020 jaxing to the same piece of music.
Don't know what jaxing is? neither did I until five minutes ago.
anyway click on this link to hear d jax to eno.

sketched by dweller at 6:33 pm

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Monday, March 17, 2008

comment on bears credit crunch disaster

GolemXIV

March 16, 2008 11:42 AM
I love this phrase people keep using - crisis of liquidity. It isn't. It's actually a crisis of SOLVENCY. The banks and brokers are largely insolvent.
Don't take my word for it. Ask anyone who trades in this stuff day to day. Below is what they will tell you.
A liquidity crisis is when you have lots of money but unfortunately, in the short term, it's all tied up and you can't lay your hands on it just now. That's liquidity.
If that was the case the US the banks have had plenty of time to sell their assets and get their hands on the liquid money. Why haven't they? Answer - they can't sell these assets because everyone trading day to day knows they are not worth even a fraction of what the banks say they are worth. Even grade A corporate paper is trading at 60 - 70 points on the dollar. When the journalists say 'the banks won't lend to each other' that's at best a half truth. The whole truth is that none of the banks and brokers will accept as payment any of the 'assets' they all hold. What is this stuff they all have and none of them will accept? Debt backed paper. They stuff they have been creating and trading in for the last decade.
The brokers and banks are suffering 'a liquidity crisis' because no one will buy their assets. And worse, the banks are reluctant to even bring these paper assets to market. Why? Because if they did they would have to 'mark them to market' - ie let the market decide what they were really worth. They CANNOT mark to market. Because the whole deal is that their solvency depends on everyone believing the assets are worth what they claim they are worth.
Why are their assets not worth what they say they are?
Banks and brokers used to trade in money - dollars. For a decade they have been creating and trading in their own unofficial and unregulated paper money.
How can you trade mortgagees like money? Simple - a dollar says 'I promise to pay the bearer...' The 'I' in that case is the Federal Government. A mortgage says 'Joe Bloggs promises to pay the bearer', the value of his mortgage. Difference is Joe Bloggs might default and not pay, leaving you with a worthless bit of paper.
And that is the sub prime crisis. Who is holding all this worthless paper money ? The banks and brokers!
And it gets much, much worse. The banks and brokers took this dodgy money and leveraged or geared it. What does that mean?
Banks and brokers are only required to hold a fraction in 'assets' of the amount they lend out or spend. Which means that they can spend 30 to 40 times the value of the actual assets they have in the vault. And remember these assets aren't even worth the value printed on them.
What does this leveraging mean in ordinary terms?
Imagine the bank's vault-- inside are gleaming bars of gold. Their 'assets'. They say, 'there you are. we're solvent. Look at all those solid gold assets'. But what leveraging means is that over the years the banks and brokers have been adding tin to the gold. They won't bring this 'gold' to market to sell because if they did the buyer would scratch the surface and find the gold is wafer thin and underneath its worthless tin. A thin veneer of assets that really are worth their weight in gold wrapped over a brick of worthless promises to pay mortgages made by people who have no ability to ever pay.
It's a solvency crisis. The banks are sitting on mountains of worthless tin 'assets'. So this is why actions taken by the FED and the BoE have not worked. The FED can lend them as many billions of Fed backed bonds as they want. The point is the banks and brokers don't have any 'assets' in their vaults with which to pay back those loans.
In the end either the banks and brokers have to bring out the worthless 'assets' and dump them - revealing the fact they have no money - they're insolvent. OR the Fed, the BoE and the ECB will agree to buy this worthless s***, bailing them out so they can carry on being rich and we, the tax payers will have footed the entire cost of their greed.
Have a nice day.

sketched by dweller at 6:31 pm

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Brian Eno - An Ending (Ascent) - last fm comments

click on this link to listen

when I reached the highest point climbing in the alps I would smoke a cigarette and
listen to this piece of music - amazing - it became my theme for the journey.
at night before sleep overwhelmed my tired body and as strange mountain hallucinations came , I would listen to this music

Thank you Chataya,it is great !

This is immense!

This song is so good, it was even used as the foundation for a track called 'Hear Me Out' by 'Frou Frou'.

When this song plays at the end of Traffic, it's . . . ethereal. & gorgeous.

Music gets no better than this.

Yeah, nobody knows you...

I think its safe to say that birth, life, love, death, and afterlife are all contained here.

Wow! this is nice like a commercial on LAST-TV

wow! this is nice

sometimes, this is the only song left fit for listening

still makes me shiver every time a listen...... an absolute classic

Absolutely gorgeous.

sound of becoming a spirit

...beautiful...

Could last forever

Wow! Perfect track.

but only because you lose your hearing

A great track, one that gets better as you get older

Maybe not. It feel like you are in the space between vacuum and the infinite.

great track and great video too!

sketched by dweller at 11:01 pm

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

flickering eye

I finally changed the photos
link at the top of the page here
to go to my flickr page,
check it out y'all.

sketched by dweller at 12:37 am

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

Crap Art

Hi!

Crap Art is a new art movement. We're still working out our manifesto, but here are a few of our principles:

1. The practice of art should be primarily explorative, and the creation of art should be discovery rather than invention.

2. Popularly held views about what constitutes art, or what constitutes artistic talent, are elitist and discourage other forms of art and artistic talent from being explored or utilized.

3. The creation of art is more important than its consumption. Therefore, aesthetics (except in the biased eye/ear of the creator) are overrated as a judgment of the worth of art.

4. That which is created rapidly and in high quantities contains more variety and is more likely to be successful/innovative. Applying the 80%/20% "rule": If only 20% of the effort is needed to get 80% of the quality, then spending by spending only 20% of the effort, we can create five times as many artifacts at 80% quality!

---=++++=---

dweller: I can totally relate to this concept.
I am a crap artist myself and have been ever since a
wee child. Spontaneous instant creation. Hard and fast.
Thats how we likes it.

sketched by dweller at 8:47 pm

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Street Sounds

I hear those drunk boymen
whistle their bath stains
along by the taxi arcade
crew mouth and the Cabbage Hall
at red light ticking over.
I lie awake as left to right
traffic passes
Drunk boys help me sleep
Heavy goods and bus brakes
Keep me up.

Human expression no matter how
wild is a comfort to me
up here safe on high.
The moving of traffic is like a
threat, a commentary, a judgement.
They stake their noisy claim that this
is a place for movement, not for rest,
not even drunken shouting at the kebab shop.
Not for church bells on wednesday night.
Not for Islington in Bloom.
The relentless filthy draughts that sweep over the
carefully laid hanging baskets of flowers
soon leave them dead and sooted.

No the traffic is telling me I am
in the wrong place. It doesn't want me
to lie in my bed feeling the magical
stillness of the night that all my
ancestors did.
No the traffic has greater rights than
me in this location.
If one of my flatmate's push-up bra
inserts blew out of the window and landed
on a windshield causing a car to
knock down a pedestrian.
Then that would be a gift.
For the police tape would halt those beasts
for a while.

I long for peaceful nights.
They are sacred now to me.
I once took them for granted.
Now a holiday means rest from
noise as well as work.
This can't go on.

sketched by dweller at 4:53 pm

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

the climax (more triplets)

Again we tread the boreds.
fellow ship of the wholly toast.
Cram merry juice and swallow it down.

The deep black hollow
my anchor and chain
don't feel the pull from above

glass is opaque
major flaws
never never land

gangrene elbow
youngsters old stony
beeblebrox smile

hermit's chancer
gets fed and the dog
lucky devil

my neck up to it in again
dirty turd pipe cleaners
lemon zest rubber gloves

gunk tallow lit
oven ship ahoy
slab murder toad

ghostie laddie
crispy nightie
flithy drinkie

plates and scones
zebra kojak
armpit lane

deirdre's divorce
ken's makeup secret
ginger cat sleeps

bye hallo
forced to by beatles
onion breath in work van

skin diseases
nurse's hand squeezes
tramp's delight

perfume seller
gorgeous frog
I'm one of you too

goodnight matrix
bourne again
mornings of the lord

dew drops
scally slippers
donkey dipper

fudge it up
nag it dead
right old state

you need glassed
hemlock got her in
raised profiles

skibbly dibbly dob
the mouse is chop chop chop
all the way home....

sketched by dweller at 12:04 am

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ludwig - Hiccups (1977)

Back in the 1970s I used to watch this odd cartoon.
It was one of those animations that I imagined was made in some
eastern European country and had an English narrators voice dubbed on to it.

Very sweet, surreal and seventies.
Take a look.

sketched by dweller at 11:29 pm

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

rollright stones - garish photos

here are some horrendous garish manipulated photos I just
uploaded to my flickr account.
I took them in the autumn of my friends at the Rollright prehistoric stone circle north of Oxford.

sketched by dweller at 10:38 pm

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

7 random/weird facts about me

goddamn its late and seizethenite has set me homework.

Here are the rules for the meme:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random [?] people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

1. I used to be able to move my hands and arms out of my body when I woke up in the morning. I could keep my eyes shut. lift my hands and touch palm to palm finger to finger. It felt fuzzy and electric. When I would open my eyes my arms were flat down on the mattress either side of me.

2. On a recent visit to Switzerland I went hiking on my own in the Alps. On each of the two days I went high up I found what seem to be prehistoric stone axe heads. I came home with them both - still need an expert to examine them.

3. Yesterday I won £100 on the premium bonds and received a package
from Pete Loveday the fantastically talented creator of Russell The Saga of a peaceful man. A brilliant graphic novel about a friendly festival goer who meets lots of strange folk, gets stoned and very paranoid often. I ordered the books from Pete and he wrote me a lovely letter.

4. I was given a Far Side calender pad for christmas last year, you know where you rip off each day and see a new comic strip.
I never got past February 18th and its still sitting and staring at me every night.

5. The other day I went magic mushroom picking with my friend at his secret patch. Before we ventured out in the rainy fields we nipped into a local pub only to find Edwina Curry there. She was a junior minister in the previous conservative UK government who it was revealed in renet years had been having an affair with the boring dull Prime Minister John Major. I tried to slip in a "major" joke but I don't think she heard me.

6. On saturday night I slept in the top bed of a bunkbed in a room occupied by a woman who spent til 4 oor 5 in the morning telling me about her strange mental state which involved the fact that everyone she ever met, spoke to or talked to was just "one" being that new everything about her i.e. God. I was kind of fascinated and concerned at the same time but eventually had to call it a night and climb up to my bunk. I didn't get physical - "scared of nutter latching on to me" syndrome kicked in. Plus my back acne was rocking something awful.

7. I am a single guy who is extremely sweet, humble, friendly and interesting and I'm always looking for great women to meet so hey how about it gorgeous? London Calling.
I promise I won't accuse you of being a nutter on a very public blog and my skin is usually good.

Oksy if you read this far then you have been TAGGED too
and better write some good old random/wierd thinsg too..
and then let me know right here in the comments section so
I can come and read them!!!

Labels: facts, random, weird

sketched by dweller at 11:24 pm

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

New Goddamn York!!! (Updated)

Okay, this is where I shout out to the
blogosphere "what the hell is wrong with NYC!!"

I booked accomodation at some cool cheap place
called Ye Olde Carlton Arms where
all the rooms are painted by artists and it
sounded fun.
I booked WAYYYY in advance.
They said I needed to confirm in November,
so I figured I would receive an email asking me
to confirm. NO NO NO I had to email them on precisely
November the Eleventh no earlier or no later or
they'd give my treasured room to some other asshole.
Which they did without so much as a "sorry for fucking up
your entire trip you limey piece of shit"

So now I have to explain to my friend that we're gonna have to
go cockroach and bedbug hunting elsewhere.

This is my first ever trip to the USA and if I do end up
in a stinking dive then it may well be my last!!!!
I'm going to support a very fine US band called Ween who I worship and I'm going to be giving lots of my fine Emglish pounds to your country. The least I could expect is that when I make a reservation, it stays a reservation.

Does anyone have any ideas as to what my best option here is???
I can't afford too much money but I don't want to have a total
suck experience. I need 30th Nov 1st Dec and 2nd Dec for two people in Manhatten. Please Uncle Sam do something to redeem yourself!!!!

UPDATE:
ok ok
the hotel I reserved with originally have managed to
find me another room. so fair play to them.
I'm still annoyed that I had to go through an evening of panicking.

also I'm pleased to get a tip from someone about short term apartment lets in NYC that I may well use next time I visit the big apple, which of course depends on whether I have a good time this first time. I'll keep you posted.

Labels: new york, ween

sketched by dweller at 12:21 am

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Song of a Man Who Has Come Through

Not I, not I, but the wind that blows through me!
A fine wind is blowing the new direction of Time.
If only I let it bear me, carry me, if only it carry me!
If only I am sensitive, subtle, oh, delicate, a winged gift!
If only, most lovely of all, I yield myself and am borrowed
By the fine, fine, wind that takes its course through the chaos of the world
Like a fine, an exquisite chisel, a wedge-blade inserted;
If only I am keen and hard like the sheer tip of a wedge
Driven by invisible blows,
The rock will split, we shall come at the wonder, we shall find the Hesperides.

Oh, for the wonder that bubbles into my soul,
I would be a good fountain, a good well-head,
Would blur no whisper, spoil no expression.

What is the knocking?
What is the knocking at the door in the night?
It is somebody wants to do us harm.

No, no, it is the three strange angels.
Let them come in.

D. H. Lawrence

sketched by dweller at 4:00 pm

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Knee Deep In Mud: Crack is Whack

Knee Deep In Mud: Crack is Whack

Here is a twisted blog post from out <<>>.
I found the link to it at the degenerate ween forum where I hang out
and timewaste.

{{{Let me set the stage for you. I am hanging out in my house with my friend, having just walked back from lunch. We went into the kitchen to get some water at about 3:00 pm. As I was talking to my friend, I looked out my kitchen window that faces the alley between Q and Corcoran Streets. I saw two people in the alley, one black and one white, near the back entrance of the house across the alley. I turned to my friend and said, "Are they having sex? I think they are having sex. Oh my God, they are having sex!"}}}

sketched by dweller at 11:11 pm

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Word War (dedicated to Norm Mailer)

This is a word war.
My first word war.
Tug – no.
Stretch – Pull the other way.
Clench and grit those teeth.
At war we words this is no play.
I fight you fight we and they.
Curse and pray to weep and stitch the wounded.
Another day the fight goodly is on again.
Word Vs Word and none shall win.
For words in sin do come freely to fight on
either side.
And war is fought like a water fount and the burn of sunlight.
Eternal words at war spring forth.
All strong weak mild and tough.
The pieces are arranged for the chaos.
Logic or God.
The strategy is played out.
I hear and see and touch.
I shout and flee and ache.
You words one and three.
Where the hell do you think you are going?
I have a job for you two.
Muck out the paragraph and prepare the margins.
Its going to be a bloody mess again.

sketched by dweller at 10:10 pm

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Saturday, November 03, 2007

burial - interview

Kode9 Interviews Burial

9: What have you been doing since the last album?

Burial: It was a bit weird people hearing the first record because most of those tunes were made without me expecting them ever to be heard. So I've been recovering.

9: How long did it take you to recover?

Burial: About 2 years [laughs]. I've just been trying to get back to why I wanted to make tunes in the first place. The first one got slightly out of where it belonged, and I found it a bit difficult to just block things out and make tunes in a low key way again, and it took time to just get back to doing that, and liking it, and doing it fast, and not trying to be a perfectionist. Just trying to dream up tunes again without worrying what people were going to think.

9: The tracks on the first album had taken about 6 years to make in total.

Burial: Yeah, that was tunes from 2000 hand picked by you out of loads. So doing the second one was never going to be as easy as that, and also I wanted to try and learn some new stuff but I couldn't, so I just gave up and went back to the old ways [laughs]

9: Were you surprised by the reception of the first album.

Burial: Yeah. I think it promised something, but if you listened to it, it didn't really get there. But I think some people liked it because it was just a no fuss bunch of tunes. I want to do low key records so i got uneasy if there was attention. my tunes aren't for everyone but thats the point of it, it's for those people. But I still want people to like it, Im not some ice cold fretless bass playing psychopath.

9: Don't you think, that whatever you felt about it, people liked it because it made a consistent album.

Burial: Why, 'cos it was all moody?

9: Not that it was moody or not, but just that the whole thing had a consistent mood.

Burial: Yeah, it was just a sad, eerie, night time thing. But the new stuff has changed a bit. No it hasn't. Don't listen to me [laughs]

9: What do you think is the main difference between the two albums?

Burial: This one is a bit more buzzin', glowy. It's a bit more uplifting. It doesn't hang around. It's a bit more up. The tunes were made quite fast in the middle of the night and they had to fight for their right to exist. but they came out of nowhere. Its a bit like an unwanted pregnancy, i wasn't always in a good place, but most of the tunes had to be faith restoring somehow to me, but they still take a while to get into.

9: Its still pretty melancholy record. But now I think its downcast euphoria, as opposed to just downcast like on the first one.

Burial: Yeah, the first one was quite a pissed off basic record, downcast. But this one has more little bits of vocals glowing in it, flickering around and burning in the tune, messed with.

9: Why did you end up doing something a bit more 'glowy'?

Burial: It's always been difficult for me to make tunes. i'd just sit or walk waiting for night to fall hoping i'd make something i liked. Or come back in and try to make the club echo in my head from going out. I'd chosen certain vocals because the mood I was in. I wanted more vocals cos they attempt to form songs, its kind of sad but they get to you in the end, i don't want a singer i want something else. Also all i listened to for a year was Black Secret Technology. I still made most of the tunes in the dead of the night, and when you do that you have to let the tune kind of hypnotize you otherwise you'll just fall asleep or play Playstation. The tunes just lulled me, and you need a vocal to do that, and a certain type of sound to echo and circle and sway into a pattern. The moodiness made the tunes, not me. Now when I listen to them, they're ramshackle, DIY and rolling but I know there is a thing trapped in them so that when I look back on them, even if its dry, I know when it was made, I know what was going on that day, its like stapling real life to the side of the tune. I can't get a singer or some session musician to come in and play or sing some dry song, so I've got to get people singing acapellas or just mates singing in their phones and re-cut up what they're saying. Sometimes I run out of a vocal and I have to re-cut up each word and make them sing a whole new verse, and you cant tell what they're saying. But I feel I can make them say certain lyrics.

9: the puppet master ha ha

Burial: I love the sound of 'girl next door' vocals. The way it used to be. Give me that any day over a really talented trained person that can actually sing. There used to be a girl who used to sing in the flat next door but I didn't have the guts to ask her. That would have been kind of awkward to ask.

9: Why don't you do gigs?

Burial: I'm not that kind of person who can step up. I just want to make tunes.

9: Why don't you want to do pictures?

Burial: Same reason. I like the old records, where you didn't know who made them and it didn't matter. You got into the tunes more. I don't want anyone knowing i do tunes.

9: And the drawing on the front of the new album.

Burial: I've been drawing that same one since I was little. Just some moody kid with a cup of tea sitting at the 24 hour stand in the rain in the middle of the night when you are coming back from somewhere.

9: Why didn't you use a sequencer on the album?

Burial: I tried. I did one tune before. . .Unite. With someone showing me how to use it, and it worked out nice, but in the end I wasn't ready and I wanted to do another record without a sequencer again.

9: You like that ramshackle thing, don't you.

Burial: Yeah, I admire people who understand complicated programs or whatever. But I'm not that into tunes that are so sequenced that all you can hear is the perfect grid, e ven on the echoes. With those kind of tunes, sometimes I just hear Tetris music, i always know where i am in the tune so i cant get lost in it, no rough edges in some tunes even when they try hard to sound rough. I want to learn one day how to make tunes properly , but I wanted to do a tribute to my rubbish, dying computer. It starts smoking sometimes and the screen flickers like a strobelight, it mashes your eyes. The tunes are made where they're made, somewhere in my building, the roof or wherever, but not in some airtight studio. Loads of the album was made with the TV on. I wish i could make technical proper music one day but people who want technical music maybe won't like my new tunes but its not for them.

9: What don't you like just now?

Burial: fiending and fakery. Sometimes you get people who don't seem to really enjoy tunes theyre just checking what other people are into and ripping it or slating it . just because..no reason. some people just talk mostly about things they hate like it matters, like they are fighting through a crowd that isn't there. i liked the world before it was so easy for people to find out stuff and get at it. i like it when people are genuine, they like tunes, they want a dance.. i don't get it when people are ploughing in with negative claimage to something. Sometimes you just want music to stay where it is from. I love drum&bass jungle hardcore, garage, dubstep and always will till i die and i don't want the music i love to be a global samplepack music.. I like Underground tunes that are true and mongrel and you see people trying to break that down, alter its nature. Underground music should have its back turned, it needs to be gone, untrackable, unreadable, just a distant light.

9: There are more vocals on this album.

Burial: When I was growing up it was hardcore or jungle tunes and you would catch people singing them while doing the washing up. Like 'Music is the key' 'Thru the vibe' 'inner city life', 'finley's rainbow' guy called gerald, kemet crew. People would be playing them from cars. But deeper tunes too not just big tunes . They tried to put a vibe into the room. They didn't just walk in and stamp on your head. Or they worked hard to take you out of where you were, make you get lost, steal away. They weren't just serving up an element that you could instantly get into. They would put an atmosphere in the room that wasn't there before, or maybe had never been there, not take the atmosphere out the room. Vocals . . .it needs to be glowing, swaying, but I want the tunes to be likeable. Not dark for the sake of it.

9: Why is the album called Untrue?

Burial: When you are not acting like yourself . . .that's an everyday thing for everyone, but it can be a bit sinister . . .It's like the opposite of Unite.

HDBCD002 [Out November 2007]
01 Untitled (0:45)
02 Archangel (3:59)
03 Near Dark (3:53)
04 Ghost Hardware (4:54)
05 Endorphin (2:57)
06 Etched Headplate (6:00)
07 In Mcdonalds (2:09)
08 Untrue (6:16)
09 Shell Of Light (4:41)
10 Dog Shelter (2:58 )
11 Homeless (5:26)
12 UK (1:42)
13 Raver (4:58 )

HDBLP002 [Out November 2007]
A1. Raver
A2. Etched Headplate
B1. Homeless
B2. Shell of Light
C1. Untrue
C2. UK
C3. Endorphin
D1. Archangel
D2. Near Dark

Watch out for "Stairwell"/"Feral Witchchild" on Hyperdub in February 2008.

sketched by dweller at 3:16 pm

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Ask, Seek, Knock

Matthew 7:7-11

"Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives;
he who seeks finds;
and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Matthew 7:7-11

sketched by dweller at 11:31 pm

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

burlesque is shit

Hi I found this on the blog of some stranger's myspace
page and it saved me the trouble of writing this piece myself.
from http://www.myspace.com/_mattcooley_
here is the entertaining and harshly truthful blog entry

"Burlesque is shit"

I wish to rant for a moment if I may... The thing that has rubbed my dick up the wrong way recently is the ancient art of "burlesque".

Now, there was a time when burlesque wasn't quite so offensive to me as it has now become; it was essentially a victorian forgotten cabaret type affair which ulitmately involved some good old fashionned prostitution. However, of late, there seems to be a trend towards any girl who has a tattoo or a piercing donning a corset and parading round on stage in their underwear with no real grasp of what a total tit they are making of themselves... And it needs to ucking stop!

Just like the endless stream of girls who readily got their chuffs out on Suicide Girls (or inferior versions if they were REALLY minging), the justification is that they are somehow "empowering" themselves... They are not. They are just getting their tits out! Now, don't get me wrong, I really couldn't give a shit about the plight of women's equality or whether or not some girl wasnts to show off her baps in public. In fact, I quite encourage it. But don't fucking pass it off as some kind of "power struggle" for feminism.

See, the problem is not so much burlesque itself; more so volume of it currently. And the solution is simple: Quality contol... Let's face it, there are some fucking minging birds doing this, with all the grace of a mahogany cabinet and the looks of a donkey's arse. Recently, my band played in Leeds and there was some kind of burlesque "troup" (yes, that's what they call themselves!) and the standard of the girls taking part was literally abismal. Not only this, but the minutes dragged on like hours as one after one they paraded around in ridiculous costumes whist showcasing obvious and unoriginal routines, all with a Christmas theme. Oh, the genius! People were slitting their wrists, drinking themselves into a coma to escape from this godawful spectacle.

And they all have ridiculous names: Miss Pitty Patty Twatty; Miss Kitty Von Anus; Miss Lee Dong Gook, Dabo, Kezman... Why? I realise I am probably in the minority of people who dislike this whole affair, but think about it: Currently every single girl in Liverpool is a burlesque dancer; if this trend continues, we won't be able to move for them. The projected figures for the next 12 months estimate that there could be anything up to 3billion burlesque dancers in the UK. We can't let this happen - What will become of the other "saucy" arts, such as "normal" pornography, prostitution, bukake drives? We must not let these arts die out.

I like strippers. I like strip clubs. There is a dark, hollow seediness to the whole ritual of going to a strip club while a girl who is completely devoid of emotion rubs her minge on your lap, while your mates cajole you like rabid monkeys. But stripping knows its place... It doesn't try to pass itself off as "art", yet burlesque and posing naked on the internet are no different from stripping, making porn films, prostitution... In fact, they are worse because they don't even show you their baps - Although judging by the (lack of) standard of the majority of girls who take part in this passtime, you'd probably have nightmares!

And so concludes my rant about burlesque. I realise its just a phase and the majority of these girls will look back when they grow up with some embarrassment at this period of their youth. Either way, i'll be avoiding such events as best I can in the future. Give me some filthy porn featuring girls who are dead inside any day of the week! Hurrah!

sketched by dweller at 12:31 am

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Sunday, September 09, 2007

The Loving Insights of a Real Headcase

Have you heard about Jimmy?

Jimmy kneaded his palm with the pine bed nob.
He was remembering times as a youngster.
The panic of breathlessness you got after springing
for too long on a bouncy castle. The anxiety would ease
slightly when you rested in a groove catching some air. Warm red
plastic sticking against your cheek. Then another kids feet would
slam down next to your face and you had to move or risk danger.

Jimmy was getting thrills from the sensitive nerves in his palms
combined with memories of the heroic/erotic. A flash of guilt,
selfconciousness and Jimmy remembers that he is living. And when
living you do things, constructive things that involve other
people not just yourself. So Jimmy slips on his green day glo
satin trousers. Adds a plate of tartan weetabix to his bearded
razor floss and he's ready to hit town.
Jimmy always looks at everyone he passes
right in their eyes. And he
smiles too. Unless he forgets. He knew that one day some mean
moody bastard would punch his lights out for staring and grinning
in their direction. That was why it never happened.

I'm gonna ring her bell and smash lemon over her honey spoon.
Jimmy thought this when he smiled and stared at good loooking
women. He knew that one day some gorgeous girl would smile and
they would end up naked together. That was why it never happened.

Smile and the world smiles with you. He knew other magic tricks
aswell. He was Mr Sheen.

Tricks of the wind my friend.
He was a natural old Jimmy was.
Never threw a bad dime.
But when he shone you could look right thru him and he could walk
through you. He was of the air. As if he didnt exist at all.
Part of you knew what he represented but you didn't believe that
you could be a part of it too.
At those times his wholeness was being glimpsed thru part of your
fractured being.
A tantalizing flash of impossible magic.

So Jimmy went on his way with a dancing stride. Feeling leaves
and talking to cats. Seeing litter and architecture as a past
moulding man.
No chaos of choice when he needed food. Jimmy on the ball heads
to the fruit stall.
A bargain of vitality all health freaks should learn,
dont feed the pill fire when there's money to burn.
After snacking Jimmy takes a breather
on a bench and speaks to an old Gent.
"Tell me old timer. What matters prey heavy on your mind
when your life is nearly spent?"
"Life like money should be spent well. When its not about
winning you can score own goals. To tell the truth son, no
matters prey heavy on my mind now that I'm no longer blind."

A wink and a gleam and Jimmy sets off. Over tarmac and stone the
wanderer must roam.

Taken from the old website
"The Loving Insights of a Real Headcase" by me.
This was the sister site to Matt Kings Unbelievable Hype which
you can find here.

sketched by dweller at 11:59 pm

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Yahoo fucking sucks and has lost me my flickr account

I've had a Yahoo ID since about year 2000.
I'm a member of many yahoo groups.
I have a free flickr account in which I've invested
time uploading photos.

Recently I received an email saying that my
yahoo password had been changed.
Now I have never changed my yahoo ID password.
So I try to change my password.
On the ID they ask you for your DOB and
post code.
Now to be honest, when I signed up to yahoo, it was
early days of the internet and everyone I know
was being cautious of what information they were
giving out, so I may have given a slightly false date of birth.
My post code was probably correct but I've lived in so many
different places that I can't remember all the post codes.

So I can't retrieve the password that SOMEONE ELSE has managed
to change.
So I email yahoo from their webpage and receive an automated email at the email address I registered with them. No password or reactivation link. Next they ask me to email them back with more details so I do that....
Next I get THIS FUCKING EMAIL below.
So obviously I will have to start from scratch in order to get a flickr account.
But I'm afraid of doing that now if invest a lot of effort
uploading photos to flickr only to lose them all again.
I think it is a very negative situation for flickr to be associated with the impossible to retrieve Yahoo ID.

Most other registered accounts I have have a very simple password
recovery system based on the security of your email account.
An email will be sent to your email to recreate your password and bobs your uncle. I know that my email address has not been breached so why can't yahoo simply send me a new password link????
It is unbelievable!!!!!

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

In order to assist you with the account in question, we ask that you
provide the answers to all of the questions below. Yahoo! keeps
detailed records of the information you provided during the registration
of your account.

For security reasons, we require an exact match otherwise we will be
unable to assist you with your account. For this, there are no
exceptions. Please fax or send via regular postal mail the information
listed below. (We apologize for the detailed request, but in order to
provide proper security for our member accounts, these steps are
necessary)

Please send us all of the following:

* Your name

* An email address where we can contact you -- at this time we are only
able to reply via email.

* Copy of a state/government issued photo ID (please copy on the
lightest setting of your copier).

* Yahoo! ID

* Permission for Yahoo! to enter your account

* Birthdate on the account

* The answer to your Security Question. (if applicable) The correct
Secret Answer is required; even with faxed information.

* ZIP code and country

* Your alternate email address

Please fax the information to:

(503) 615 3883
Attn: CC Account Security Team

If you are outside the United States/Canada, you may fax the information
to the number below:

+1 (503) 615 3883

Or mail it to:

Yahoo!
Attn: Customer Care/Account Security
701 First Avenue
Sunnyvale, CA 94089-1019

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

Ray

sketched by dweller at 11:44 am

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Saturday, July 07, 2007

keep up to date with your europop

http://www.dontstopthepop.blogspot.com/
these guys have their finger on the pulse of
shitty addictive europop

the way the most addictive pop song of the moment
is "Lucky Twice" by Lucky.
If you hear this it will infect your brain and won't leave.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RxIEWCn6pI

another kindergarten pop hit is called holly dolly it is kind of a new scatman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_CbWXFpcpo&mode=related&search=

I got these from some fantastically bad spanish pop compilation I just
downloaded

sketched by dweller at 11:29 am

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