child without an eye

[clear - refresh] ---CHILD WITHOUT AN EYE--- [created by may]

recent posts

archives

Be a Devil and Subscribe!!!

myspaces

My other webs
Flash Git
Matt Kings Unbelievable Hype
AMW

My Latest Glogger Snaps
alt="Live Glogger Image" title="Live Image from Glogger
Blogs I read

« # Blogging Brits ? »

Web Pages referring to this page

Link to this page and get a link back!

Shitty Blogs Club Members

* m a y s t a r *
designs

Thursday, September 28, 2006

the sound of tulips

This is my early attempt at what I guess could be called
an audio blog.
Circa 2000/2001
Spontaneous verbage.
I reduced the quality of the audio for slow modem users.
It starts with the embedded realplayer at the bottom of the page.

Click HERE to check it out.
Sometimes it takes a few seconds for this page to load up so
please be patient.

sketched by dweller at 12:44 am

0 comments

Share |

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

my inner soul pain (2001)

[This was written in 2001]

My inner soul pain part one.
Am I ignoring the wrongness in my current state?
Is this a bad place to be?
No, but you are seeking always a distraction.
You are not following a shining path and seeing the good in everything. When things are well you feel that behind every frown is a inner loving purpose.

Are my communications on this level being restricted by my own lack of strong positive passionate feelings?
My feelings are held back because they include a sense of ending and tragedy that has become associated directly with me. So my current state of not knowing what to do, or even seeking to find out what I want to do is like I am having a parallel ending. Something good has ended in my family; therefore I feel something good has ended within me. My awareness, my ability to be creative, my sense of knowingness of happy laissez-faire. I have become more serious. When I wake up in the morning there is nothing to look forward to. Everything is seen as a means to regaining something that I have lost. That is the constant subject matter. Its all about remembering when I felt mythical and special within my life. Instead of mundane and blank covering up a weeping sadness.
But then I ask myself “Is that the truth?”
Is it sadness and grief that is causing me trouble?
Well I previously experienced that my crying and missing was a very personal connection with mum, and myself. It felt sad but good, because I was able to make present our entire connection with one another in moments of tearful emotion.
Then I have had dreams of mum being ill, which were more disturbing. But they did not bring down my following day.
I have quite recently gone into crying for my mum in a more desperate way as I have been feeling ill and dizzy at work and home and have been feeling a bit liverish. However I do know that this liverishness can put a really dark fork in your tongue, where you vent your spleen by saying really spiteful things. Your bitter and twisted words to your friends, a lazy result of the aching organ/mind interface. So perhaps this has put a taint on the grieving communication between me and mum.
I think this could be true because after not drinking for a while, I have had some pleasant dreams with mum and me in the back garden. She is smiling and involved in our decision making whilst doing up the flat.

So as an experiment, it may be wise to go fairly teetotal for a while and just see how that goes. I think if the liverishness goes, then so my communications with others and my grief process will become purer, and I will have less regretful mornings and evenings.
The problem with my days is that I feel guilty, that I am not doing the right thing at all times. There is a sense that if I listen to the radio, go shopping, go to the library, muck around on my computer, then that is time badly spent and that I should be organizing something in greencroft, either housework, DIY or organizing my belongings for the big move. A sense of guilt for wasting time, because somehow time is so precious and that every second is a golden opportunity lost. And that if you engage in these wasteful activities then these are acts of a depressed character who is avoiding the positive movement forward, the way you should be going. And this philosophy of wastefulness is being drummed into me by my sister.
She has an amazing ability to make all her actions within a day be “the right thing to be doing”, but by her perfection, my imperfection is implied. I think this is having a negative effect on my ability to feel confidence in my own ability to have control over my own actions. Somehow my decisions over what I do are split into good right thinking decisions, and bad depressed wasteful decisions. Now the more I am told this is true the more I am being asked to believe it is true, the more it becomes true. But I see my ways of being are being caricatured by this analysis. I am being pressured into thinking that there is something wrong with me. I personally think that our idiosyncratic ways of being if left in tact are part of the makeup of being an individual. I think that a constant critique of that makeup can undermine and have a depressing effect on that individual, especially when it comes from close family.
But at the moment we have to work together on this Greencroft project. It is this that has led to this conflict and this sense of wrongness within me. Also undeniably my grieving is not over and I do need to put myself in a nurturing environment, for a while, much in the same way that I Instinctively did after my hepatitis bout. I would like to think that my character is strong enough and not undermined. That I will be able to find my self again, after this unwelcome but necessary partnership.

But I am not really looking for past Headstates in a regretful manner. My next stage of headyness will I’m sure be just as illuminating as those that have gone before. I will not look at my past as some rosy unrepeatable time. And that all is grayer from now on. I shall endeavor to be a active volcano, a starry night, a double rainbow, a series of fleeting wonders, a net of gusty breezes, a light dancing man, a free free thing smiling at the weeds in the tarmac. Therein lies my way, not this way of organizing rent, moving into an apartment and doing a mindless 9to5 and catching the tube. I cannot be the person I find most compatible with me in those surroundings and circumstances. I have to admit to myself that this is true, and see it as a fine thing. It is a fine thing to be the one who opens up your channels and lets you experience and thrive and create and love and explore and sing and dance. To be that one is easy if you spend the time to examine in this way. Every glass of water is a reminder of this knowledge. It will soon be time to put my earthly things to one side once again, and to venture forth as a light light being. See how the years have changed my abilities and my perspective see what will become. Intrigueing, exciting wondrous times ahead. How fantastic, the sights I shall see, the skies I will be beneath. The seas I will swim in. The earth and birds insects, and mammals, and reptiles, amphibians, fish and marsupials.
And human beings with something to share.

sketched by dweller at 11:56 pm

0 comments

Share |

Monday, September 25, 2006

Its official: URANUS is no longer a planet

It is just a Greek joke.

URANUS : The deity from Greek Mythology

"URANUS: Great primeval God of the Sky. Born of GAIA, the Earth, he covered the world in the form of a vast bronze dome and ruled over everything.

Taking GAIA to wife, he impregnanted her with many children but was not prepared to deal with the consequences. In fact he was terrified of the monstrous brood of TITANS forming inside her and threatened terrible reprisals should they ever pop out.

GAIA, wanting to protect her children, kept them inside herself as long as she could, but pretty soon the pain was unbearable. Relief only came when their youngest son CRONUS stepped in. Or rather, popped out.

Armed with a sickle, he lopped off URANUS's... er, well, let's not go into details. Suffice to say that URANUS was cut off in his prime and CRONUS took over as supreme being.

Helpful note: URANUS is pronounced with the stress on the first and last syllable: Ur-a-Nus. This helps to avoid further embarrassment."

sketched by dweller at 8:33 pm

0 comments

Share |

Friday, September 22, 2006

Matt's Fuck You Video #1

It could have been anyone,
she just happened to be on the box.
The daft fagsmokin' burger munchin' trollop.
We loves you really.

sketched by dweller at 11:04 pm

1 comments

Share |

Sunday, September 17, 2006

kill newage chain emails

I've created a chain email to say to all those new age freeks that we are
sick and tired of their wisdomails they keep on posting. If you agree with
me then please mail this on. The email body starts here...

Sick and tired of those endless "feel good", "positive vibes", newage chain
emails that get sent around the world endlessly in order to make people feel
that they are in touch with some greater intuitive meaning, purpose or
whatever beyond the mundane lives they live?
They always have a selfrighteous air about them, as if to say that if we do
not agree with their endless glib aphorisms, then we aren't living in a
spiritually pure way. It is assumed that we appreciate these little
reminders of 'who we really are' in our inbox. Well think again,
If you are fed up with the unimaginative, "moral blackmail" vibe of these
emails then please add your name to the list below and forward this to as
many others as you like. Feel free to add your own comments to this mail but
please don't alter the original text. Lets see how far this baby travels.
Yours mattyk mattyk ...@hotmail.com
(If on the other hand you love receiving those angelic messages of light
then please pray for our souls and ignore the message.)

FUCK WISDOM EMAILS
1. MATT KING, LONDON, UK.
2.
3.

sketched by dweller at 10:34 pm

0 comments

Share |

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Things I Don't Remember - Ugly Cassanova

Things I Don't Remember - Ugly Cassanova

never mind the music ,
this is a very creative video which Freud would've enjoyed I'm sure.

sketched by dweller at 11:02 am

0 comments

Share |

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Bob Dylan without an eye

Just listening to Dylan's radio show.
The theme this week is "eyes".

It is as usual a fantastic show.
Unfortunately at the final hurdle
Bob makes a tragic error and plays
"dry your eyes" by The Streets.
Surely the worst Streets track by far,
and I don't even like the rest of them.
If it was me, I'd have played
"a pair of brown eyes" by The Pogues.
What would you have replaced the dreadful
Streets with, given half a chance?
Bob needs to know,
and so do I.

Bob Dylan -- Theme Time Radio Hour Episode 15, 'Eyes'

01. Brown Eyed Handsome Man - Chuck Berry
02. 20/20 Vision - Jimmy Martin
03. Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
04. My Blue Eyed Jane - Jimmy Rogers
05. She Winked Her Eye - Gatemouth Brown
06. Spanish Eyes - Al Martino
07. Keep An Eye On Love - Ernestine Anderson
08. Eyeballing - Chuck Higgins
09. Brown Eyes - Blue Sky Boys
10. Eyesight To The Blind - Sonny Boy Wilkinson
11. Tell Me My Lying Eyes Are Wrong - George Jones
12. Raging Eyes - Nick Lowe
13. Bloodshot Eyes - Wynonie 'Mr Blues' Harris
14. I Still Miss Someone - Johnny Cash
15. I Only Have Eyes For You - The Flamingos
16. Dry Your Eyes - The Streets

sketched by dweller at 8:31 pm

0 comments

Share |

Bogdan Raczynski review

I've just discovered the best reviewer at Rateyourmusic

I was looking for reviews of Bogdan Raczynski,
an incredible elctronic music artist.

I found a review written by someone called technic.

"Rephlex retirement castel, Whales, 2056.

We are the discarded aged of a retirement castel.
We are unpredictable and vulnerable.
We are there because we are a danger for ourselves.
We have ingurgitate everything: XTC, Acid, LSD, urban noises, flashes of light, electromagnetic fields and cellular phones. Humming basses and reactors ended up affecting our neurons.
Definitively.
We mainline tranquillizers and anti Parkinsonian, we suffer from facial spasms and agitation. Furniture get distorded until they look like Tokyo streets and our clothes get beat against our sides, like a brutal and forced breathing. Our conscience is like a grand hotel revolving door, turning on and projecting us chopped sights from the street. Reflections are chaotic and disturbing... Need... to... sloooow... down... aaaaaaaaaaaa ..........liiiiiiitle ...
A little ride on a merry-go-round and colored diodes will hypnotize us like a Christmas carol.

Where is the nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurse?!!
I can't see him!

He turn a potentiometer located in my cranium with rage and rapture...
Those frequencies... Too much noises... A drum is knocking curtly, a metal skeleton is grating with difficulty, something goes of, then, the silence: someone next to me has changed the channel.

I want this remote control!!!

Music is relaxing and I hear the tide. We need this to calm down, even though everything get fucked up, sometimes and mess again. As if "Kays tool" was pummeling my grey matter in a speeded-up way. I am a modeling clay beated up by percussions and I will blow up if you don't stop to zap!!
I think I hear mice under the floor. Or maybe it's just this ridiculous cartoon: an electric and sliced manga with exaggerate mimics, cut with slow motions and rush sequences. And the mouses don't stop scratching furiously! They're hitting the floor so fastly that the echoes spread in the whole room sounds like ecstatic.

Come! Hurry! It's time for pills."

That is the kind of review I can connect with.

sketched by dweller at 2:13 pm

0 comments

Share |

Thursday, August 17, 2006

new blogger beta

I've tried this out.
But having read some scary stories of
lost blogs and losing the ability to post on the
blogger usenet group, I've decided to wait before I migrate
this blog to the new blogger setup.

However, I created a new blog and I really like the new features.
The built in templates are easily changed now.
There is a GUI for changing colour, font and fontsize of all text and backgrounds. This works really well with an instant preview at the bottom of the pag.
When logged into your google account you can
get to "new post" or "settings" just by clicking on the blogger bar at the top of your blogspot page.
Moving from one page to another within the blogger app is much quicker. I hope this is going to be a much smoother online operation than we've been used to with blogger.
So going back and editing a post, or adding tags you forgot (new feature) isn't a chore.
There is an option to add new link sections to your blog (plus I think a few others I haven't explored), so it is easy to create separate sections for "Daily Reads", "My other blogs" or whatever category or subsection you want.

One of the templates I tried out gives archives in a nested way. You click on year and the months appear, click on a month and the days appear. You may like that, I thought it was a bit pointless,
but maybe good to keep a large blog tidy.

One major fault I found was with the new permissions option.
I gave permission for only one other "guest" to have access to my blog. However not only couldn't the guest google account see my blog, neither could the author google account see my blog. Luckily I could switch the settings back. This is a good new feature for
those who want to share a blog with just family and friends. I'm sure they'll sort it soon enough.

Overall, I'm looking forward to migrating my blogs over to the
new format, but I'm gonna wait a while until the scary "lost blog"
stories subside.

here is my silly new blog

sketched by dweller at 10:59 pm

0 comments

Share |

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

gladiolus

Yeah the gladiolus is a flower
from South Africa.

It is now a stonking hardbeat chicago house
monster with guitar licks by dweller.

Listen HERE

sketched by dweller at 6:04 pm

0 comments

Share |

Thursday, August 10, 2006

with thanks to shiptonblog

sketched by dweller at 10:51 pm

1 comments

Share |

Myra Breckinridge wrote this

I like the devilish look in your eye. I like speaking for mere moments and suddenly feeling the comfort of a long past. I love hidden languages, the excitement of passions, and finding those to gush about them with. I like looking at the curve of the muscle, especially the insanely beautiful curves in a Herb Ritts photograph. I like when eyes meet in surprise over a wonderful bottle of wine. I love to hear moans over the bite of a perfect piece of cheese. I like downing a table of shots and dancing the night away. I love to caress the smooth edges of a paperback book. I like to make wild animals run up to me. I like new discoveries, whether a new place, or a song I never realized the beauty of. I love all the passions that bring me new likes every day.

sketched by dweller at 9:53 pm

0 comments

Share |

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Guten Abend

Deine Fuhrer hier.
Was ist los?
Nur ein Bissen.
Got sei dank fur dat.

Yes you see I have a see saw.
A break wind cursor streak.
Jugular Tyburn clank.
An enormity of Ursulas.
Minor freak wit.
Labial tides of green ooze from the plug sockets.
(and that bit is real)

Glass in hand , turning your cheeks.
Mable is that you Mable?
Tawny brain time.
I drank some mint tea with honey again.
Hopefully we won't all get murdered by random
rogue electrons. But the vibrations are heightening.
No Haight Ashbury San Francisco Ribbon Girls here,
no matter how many late 60s obscurities I download
onto my ArgosPod.

I have fungi and butterflies by my side
thanks to The Guardian. Covers a dreary wardrobe.
Fancy a bit of Russula violeipes anyone?

There is a vicar on a rooftop in camden,
he's up there for ten days and shitting in a bucket,
I kid you not. I read his diary in the Camden New Journal.
As well as raising money for roof repairs he is getting a good
perspective on the scummy nightlife of those sticky vomit piss and blood drenched paves. Read his diary here
a night on the tiles

A BBC lipreading expert read the lips of the Italian player
who Zidane Billy-Butted. They reckon he said he hoped Zidane's family died a horrible death. At the moment ZZ's mum is quite ill.
Bit close to home.
Take that!

sketched by dweller at 12:03 am

0 comments

Share |

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Gadzooks

Did I go somewhere?
Did something happen?

I screen name is my privacy/ ok / allowed / unfair

Justice is Might

JIM

My Jim / Jism

Clangers in bang lids shocker

golly

by

James Dean was a twat

I'll slick it
will you?

Girls On Film

GOFOG

or the guts explode

the stomach acid is rising
the raw aesophagal tract is
burning just for you my
dainty lover
my sweet drooping flower
petal
knockers
crack
round things
hair
eyes
hair is good
but not too much
twiddlesticks
fiddlers and bows
again and again
so much sunlight at dawns crack
but the gut with pizza clogs
the neckfull
the dry and full the arms free
index fingers outstreched like body antenna
lined up the shoulder in
perfect symmetry the spine and head
these empty arms
in the centre my digestive tract
eat it all up
in a rush
index fingers feel more they are
picking up the pipes of peace
they register
they aim to feed but the mouth is clumsy
it is the devourer
we don't photosynthesize
nor do we reproduce in the conventional monkey way

so what gives?
nothing
no morning milk bottles
no sir sireeee
consume it crap it
baby are you one?
you can't always get the twonk

the golden turd awaits
I love you my darling
these arms of mine

sketched by dweller at 9:22 pm

0 comments

Share |

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Not Dead Yet

No still here,
Ol Wispy.
In the sun where life is much much worse,
and I'm still hungry.

Ta da!!!

That was the rabbit out of hat.
But you couldn't see.
I'm good at tricks.
Sawing women in half.
Stopping people from talking in their tracks.
Various twisted subliminal tricks I get away
with with a big smile and the fact I rarely realise
that I am doing them.
It's the devil I tells ya.
Jesus and the Deal.
That's who we are dealing with.
The eternal internal fisticuffs tween
Good Choir Boys ANd fILTHY mC tWIST pRIESTS

Knowing this and that deceit is
part of the Desmond Morris school of completely
normal human behaviour.
We musn't feel guilty about our tricksy selfinterested
movments.
Cause those smiles and winks and hugs do do
some good even though we are but devils in disguise.

sketched by dweller at 12:12 pm

0 comments

Share |

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Panic Attack

lie down on the pavement
and clutch your chest,
DIE DIE DIE,
drink die smoke die
death comes soon
PANIC hah aha haha ha a
PANIC
PANIC woo whwooo woooo
PANIC

that's it really,

just y'know smoke another
pure superskunk amsterdam spliff,
you'll feel much better hah ahh ahh ahha
your throat is constricting, you cannot breathe
you throat has tightened ,,
no more air
no ..... more...... air ggraggahhshhgh choke choke
retch retch,
now you have shrunk to the size of a pinhead in
the corner of the room the whole universe is weighing in on you

everyone notices that you are fucked
they tell each other
" he is totally fucked man, what should we do?"
"ah he'll be okay, get him a can of coke"

sketched by dweller at 11:35 pm

0 comments

Share |

some more recent reads

books I've started,
but may not have finished
in no particular order

sketched by dweller at 2:45 pm

0 comments

Share |

Click on my face and tell me that you love me

Masochistic tendencies?
See if people like clicking all over YOUR face.

I don't expect to survive long,
I think the cleavage shots have the upper hand...

sketched by dweller at 11:54 am

0 comments

Share |

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Wine flowed in a canal again

I got satan's pillow under my ass
I held a candle to Clarissa's eye
I undervarnished the clove bar.
I jackled with rangling flissarns in kleptovelt.
I cycled freearm in nordic telescope range
I heard french wedding bells echo underground
I opened gleaming hardshells slime slipping at the rockpool
I juiced a nectar berry at the sunrise festival
I gathered young standin Elvises sweating with nerves
I lunched with a bearhug giver in the palladium cafe
I collapsed the card house at osinac
I rowed the galleon and nursed the brute's whip scars
I ordered seven courses of lemming pie
I smashed pantalooon circus helmets with an appreciative giggle
Wine flowed in a canal again.

sketched by dweller at 3:19 pm

0 comments

Share |

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Yacht Rock (ok so it's a bandwagon)

I must spread the word of this very very funny
internet-based series of videos.

See Kenny Loggins, Michael McDonald, Toto, Hall and Oates
and more as you never imagined before.
Laugh your head off as the history of the smoothest music
ever put to tape is lovingly revealed.

If you're a bit of a dumbass, remember to start with episode
one at the bottom of the page

Yacht Rock at Channel 101

sketched by dweller at 12:28 pm

0 comments

Share |

Newer› ‹Older

maystar maystar maystar designs | maystar designs |